We all get kind of sick of seeing such a bad portrayal of Muslims in the media. I know it's a hot topic and I have given many a lecture on the importance of public relations for Muslims in America. Let's face it, we as Muslims are Googled, YouTubed, and Binged (whats Bing?) more than any other faith in history. Muslims are popular right now, but not for the reasons we would have hoped for. Not because of the peace we believe in, or the high morals and standards we live by. No, little of this is ever brought up. You mainly just see angry people being caught doing destructive, vile crimes against others while claiming they are with us. Sorry, but I'm not with stupid.
Guide US TV is the first project that can take the message of what Muslims actually believe and live for, and spread that message across television screens world wide. No longer being contained inside internet TV, Sheikh Yusuf Estes and his intelliteam of Muslim techies, are taking Islam's teachings, putting them into plain English, and then shooting them across satellites and into our living rooms. Finally, Muslims will be represented in the media by actual Muslims! Instead of hearing about violence, people can hear about the passion Muslims have for God, and how we put God in the center of our lives! Most people don't even think Muslims worship God! Wow, we have a lot of work to do, but with such a dynamic team and most massive support imaginable (God's), we can really show the world the beauty behind the message with follow.
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| Sheikh Yusuf Estes interviews Sharif El-Gamal, developer of Park51, NY. |
Hassan and I were invited to take part in the 48 hour telethon, hosted by Guide US TV, at the MAS ISNA conference in Chicago. We saw it as the next step in our Dawah (sharing God's message) campaign. So after shooting a wedding Dec 24th, I packed my bags and flew to Chicago to see what this was all about. What an amazing weekend! Not only was it awesome to meet so many great Muslims in Chicago, but to meet the Guide US team was bliss! During my own transition into living for God, I used to stay up all night watching Sheikh Yusuf's videos. Tears would come into my eyes as my heart began to realize that I had found something to relate to, an answer to why I was here. Sheikh Yusuf's videos helped Islam's warmth, relate to my lost heart. On top of that, he's totally hilarious!
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| Nicole Queen, Hassan, and Sheikh Yusuf Estes |
Inshallah (God willing), I will work with Sheikh Yusuf and his team on Sister's programming for Guide US TV, which will be a first for the channel. While in Chicago I was able to get a taste of filming LIVE with the team. Since we didn't really have a plan for Sister's content, we decided a good idea would be to go with a "talk show" style. We found some really brave Muslim girls attending the conference and I sat with the girls and LIVE on camera we talked about current events, peer pressure, and how they think Guide US TV can benefit the image of Women in Islam, for Americans. Currently most Americans feel that Women in Islam are oppressed, uneducated, unsocial and probably miserable with their lives. I can't speak for all Women but I am certainly none of those things and I am certainly Muslim and not miserable. Having programs that are available for an American audience allows Muslim Women to properly represent who we really are. Muslim Women are all types, some are home makers, educators, business Women, doctors, and some like me are in the arts\media industry. It would be so awesome to share stories of Muslim women from all over the world, and we could do that on Guide US TV!
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| Nicole Queen interviews a Muslimah on GuideUS.TV |
One of the discussions I had with the young ladies was about their experiences attending public schools. While I was in high school I attended public school and I will tell you it's scary. The things that kids are capable of, the things they experiment with. Even if I wasn't a Muslim, I would want my child attending a religious school. So knowing this, I can't imagine what it's like for a Muslim teen, who wears Hijab (the Muslim modest dress code), to attend a public high school. One of the young ladies was the first girl in her school to wear Hijab, and what she said was shocking. She stated that people actually were showing her more respect because of the Hijab, and they respected her bravery. The school even made arrangements for a place for her to pray. This is fantastic and it's so awesome that in our country you can be who you are and follow your faith and it's respected, sometimes (I'm sure some of you have different stories). Another young student is a senior at her school and I asked her what it's like to face peer pressure as a Muslim in public school. I remembered how challenging peer pressure could be. You want to fit in, you want to keep up with other teens and if you don't you end up feeling lost and alone, unless you find another group of left out teens to fit in with, but then you can face their pressure as well. The amazing answer she gave me...She said that she doesn't really get challenged with any peer pressure! Huh?...Then it clicked to me. Guys are pressuring girls to do things because the girls are running around showing off their teen bodies. Girls are pressuring each other, because of their need to compete with each other. A Muslim girl doesn't get invited to parties because she doesn't drink and hang out with "party" girls. A guy isn't going to bother her because she is completely covered up, she is not provoking his raging hormones. A Muslim girl is not a bully, a gossip queen, a tattle tale, or a wanna be prom queen. Keeping her priorities in order, and her body protected, her faith shields her from the horror of teen pressure. WOW...umm for me that would be enough to show my teen daughter Islam. LOL...
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| Nicole Queen discussing life with other Muslimahs |
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| Sheikh Yusuf Estes helping his team while Nicole Queen films LIVE |
On top of being amazed by working with Sheikh Yusuf Estes, I was privileged to meet Brother Yusha Evans, and Sheikh Mutahhir Sabree. Both of these gentlemen are esteemed and very popular speakers for Islam here in America. Go ahead, Google either one and be amazed at some of their videos on life and Islam. It's such an awakening, spiritually, to be around people like this. When ever you feel like you are doing perfectly fine in life...go spend some time with these Brothers and you will always realize you still have much higher to aim! LOL...Ma'shallah (it was God's will) I went home with a hunger to read and read more about Islam. You can never learn enough! Especially with Br. Yusha Evans, he definitely has a way with words and can really simplify the meaning behind Islam, but at the same time it becomes the most important lesson you could learn.
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| Nicole Queen, Hassan, Br. Yusha Evans |
As we all know the media is very BIG and very EXPENSIVE. Of course having cable and satellite channels for Guide US TV is going to take some serious moolah. But don't worry, you can help! And you should. I should, we all should. By all means donate, since it is our duty to do what we can to pursue a better image and reputation for the faith that the Prophet Muhammad SAS (peace be upon him) spent his entire life to spread. It wasn't easy for him at first. If you have read anything about Islam and how Prophet Muhammad SAS was able to share the word of God with the Middle East, you will see that he was met with hate and hostility by the idol worshipers. He was surrounded by them, and people wanted nothing more than to ruin the name of God and destroy the Prophet, SAS. He never gave up, and neither did the Muslims who followed him.
Well we have a problem now in America. People have been given the wrong message by hostile radicals and the Prophet, SAS, is not here to defend the good name of Islam (life surrounded around God). It is up to us, the Muslims of America, to teach Islam to others the way the Prophet, SAS, did, which was through his peaceful, compassionate, and completely understanding character. Think of how many people we can reach through television? How bout this, think of how quickly and how many people were reached through the media when someone claiming to be a Muslim did something wrong? Well now reverse that with good people who really are Muslim, doing good things in the name of God. Now you get it! Help us! You don't have to go out in front of the camera, and yes it's really hard to do! All you have to do is support the people who are willing to work hard to share the peace of our faith. Support them with spare cash, with your prayers, with your Facebook pages, Twitters, heck gossip about us on the phone with your gal pals! Do anything! Just please don't do nothing...I think we have had enough of doing nothing, don't you?
Check it out here!
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Link to GuideUS TV
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Donate to GuideUS Here!
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| Link to GuideUS TV |
I scored a few huge jobs shooting celebrity events for Ghost Bar, inside the infamous W Hotel in Dallas. Only the most beautiful and successful people partied at this place. I shot everyone from Justin Timberlake to Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson, and lots of other sports and pop stars that graced our doors.
With this job came lots of other restaurant openings, and every other main street night club had me shooting their private parties. My work then went into all the Dallas magazines, sometimes even in People and Paper City. I got to hang out with publicists from Vogue and worked with the best in the media business. It was simple and glamorous and along came with it lots of glam friends. I could walk into any party and it seemed I couldn't go anywhere at night without spotting friends.
I even had to look the part while working. I had to wear sexy clothes, loads of makeup, and "fohawk" style hair — it was popular at the time. I often found that I had fans. People actually came up and wanted to have their picture with me, on their own cameras. Later I would see it posted on Myspace or Facebook. I partied, and drank, and only cared about one person: me.
Deep down inside though, this life and the people in it started to wear down on my soul. It's a wicked life. I remember standing next to Justin Timberlake and all the flashes from the crowd going off, and we could barely see five feet in front of us. I only took about three shots of him, so I wouldn't get fired and then I slid my lens to the side. I couldn't do it more. It felt horrible all these people screaming, flashing, body guards around him, managers yelling — and this was after he had finished a three-hour concert. What kind of life was that?
I felt dirty that I was part of the reason he couldn't have a normal life. I started wondering what was so great about my life, what was I doing to better anything around me. Nothing, just shooting pictures of people partying and drinking and wow, "Here is my contribution America. I'm here to make the world a more materialistic and vain place!" Not exactly something that would make my grandmother proud.
So here it came, the overwhelming sensation of doubt about who I was and what I was doing with my life. I couldn't sleep. I began having nightmares with people screaming out to help them. I also couldn't escape the thought of the most important question that I had ever asked myself, "What will you say when you must explain your life to God?" OMG, what do you say, "Umm sorry God I am too busy drinking and hanging out with cool people to think about You or to help others."
This is definitely a defining moment in my life where I knew it was time for some changes. I talked with friends about what I was feeling. They tried so hard to help. One friend recommended that I watch a few lectures on YouTube. One of which from a guy named Yusuf Estes, a Muslim convert who used to be a Christian pastor. The best part was he was from Texas! I watched the lectures and when I got to his I heard a bearded man explain everything I was going through right to me as though he was reading my mind.
He told the story of his conversion to Islam from Christianity. Said he needed a greater purpose in life, a better reason to wake up in the morning. Oh how nice this sounded to me. To wake up without thinking, "What did I do last night, and how did I get home alive?"
I became obsessed with learning more about his religion. I would come home from shooting around 2:30 a.m. and get online till the sun came up. It was so relieving to listen to other converts too! Holy cow I found some help! Of course when studying and believing in this religion, you start to look at yourself differently. It's like you see yourself from outside your body!
I remember a friend of mine (who is now my husband) said to me, "Who is it that thinks your so glamorous and cool? What kind of people are they. They are just like you only caring about themselves and living for nothing better." Ouch, those words drove straight through me. He became my biggest supporter in my transition.
I remember one day I wanted to start going to the New Muslim classes at the local masjid and I went into my huge closet to find something suitable to wear. Ha! Good luck! This day I went crazy I think. I teared up as I thrashed through the hangers of sexy tops and tight jeans and pants — not one single thing that I could wear to a holy place. Most of the tops had to be taped on to avoid the loose fabric from exposing your chest! I began crying at myself. What kind of girl was I!
I tore through the clothes, throwing them behind me in a huge pile of slinky embarrassment. When I was done there was only a small rack of barely modest things left. I couldn't afford to replace them all so I slowly began the process of a new wardrobe. I started with looser pants, shirts with long sleeves, modest shoes instead of stilettos, and a low pony tail became my daily routine. Then it went from there, and slowly but surely God carved his way through my black heart and planted Himself deeply inside.
I said my Shahada in April of 2007 in the office of Dr. Yusuf Kavacki, the father of Elif Kavacki. My later husband Hassan was there supporting me, as well as a few new girlfriends I had made from the New Muslim classes. I have a slew of new friends now, who follow the same lifestyle as me. I didn't get rid of any of my old friends, but if your not down for meeting people at the bar, then they tend to stop calling as much, until it's just never at all. No problem for me. I am busy as I ever was and happily married with a wonderful family of in-laws not far away.
I asked Hassan if I could visit Jordan; he is from Amman and his parents and siblings live there. His family was so happy to have me. Muslims have the best sense of family and welcome guests as if they are blood. I stayed with his Mom and Dad for a month. I started wearing the hijab full-time there, it made being out in public easier for me, less men harassing you and people really respect you more. Wow, people respecting me for the way I dress and carry myself in public, that was a new and wonderful feeling.
When I came back to Dallas, I couldn't take off the scarf. I just couldn't stand the thought of going back to being just another "piece of meat" for men to glare at. I didn't want to go back to competing with women based on whose boobs look bigger, and what brand are you wearing and are you sexy enough to be my friend. No more of this life for me. I wanted to be free from those chains and wearing the hijab was the only answer for this. I wore it proud, wore it with style, and actually more men than ever in my life opened doors for me and showed me respect.
One day a man in his 40's came up to me at a store and said, "Where did you get these clothes, you look so classy and stylish. I wish my wife would start dressing this way." Why wouldn't men love this. They have a beautiful wife who shows her skin only to him and in public she covers demanding respect for herself and her religion with every public appearance she makes. I am currently working on designing new headpieces for hijab-wearing women to wear. Soon, Inshallah, I will have the first set completed.
I still do photography, but I keep it clean, you know. I don't shoot clubs or crazy parties anymore. I stick with charity functions, fundraisers, and my newly started wedding and bridal photography is going quite well. I also take part in MAS (Muslim American Society) and WCTI (Woman Converts to Islam). I speak sometimes to schools about Islam, and even to Muslim schools to the younger girls, I try to tell them to stay away from the wrong kind of life. I tell them from experience that it gets you nowhere, a vicious lonely circle where everyone is lonely and rich and it never gets any better.
I have a huge following on Myspace, thanks to the YouTube interview done on me. I use the page on Myspace to reach out to other "party girls" and show them that you can escape that life. Even if you don't wanna become a Muslim, just clean up your life and you will change forever for the best. Having God in your life is the best therapy you could ever hope for, and it's free!
I also love working with Sr. Elif Kavacki. She is a great woman and really trying to open doors for Muslim women everywhere. I am happily married, and we are hoping one day Allah will bless us with an addition to our new little family. My husband and I enjoy living in downtown and keeping each other close to our religion. We frequent trips to the masjid and enjoy nights with friends for dinner. We have picnics by the lake and watch the sunset, and attend a lot of functions with his career. This replaced all the late-night parties and people who don't really care about you. I think it's a pretty good trade, Hamidillah.