Showing posts with label Nicole Queen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nicole Queen. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Glad To Be Back!

Assalamu Alaikum!!!!!!!!!


Bismillah Al-Rahman Al-Rahim

It feels so good to come out of "hiding".  As most of you know I was pregnant for the past 9 months, lol...a normal length of time, and then Alhamdulillah, I gave birth to the most precious gift that God could grant me.  


Talal Hassan Tahat

January 5th, 2012  7 lbs 10 oz.  20.4 inches

AlHamdulillah, he is the sweetest joy and the coolness of our eyes.  Talal is now five weeks old and growing like the weeds in my front yard! I have been so busy of course, attending to his every need and desire and believe me, he has learned how to work over Mommy and Daddy!  He's a cheerful sprout in the mornings, right around 4 am he expects Mommy to play with him!  We are over joyed with this bundle of snuggles and now that I feel more confident in my "Mommy skills"...I am ready to get back to work!
I am super excited to share with you my first event since the changes in my life!  



Remember LoveStruck back in '10? Well this year, join IANT
Youth, Nicole Queen, and Nouman Ali Khan on February 17 
for LoveStruck Part II! 


We'll be talking beyond the guys, the 
girls, and the gaze-dating, newlyweds, and the aftermath! 


See y'all then insha'Allah!


*Please note, this event is targeted for ages 13+


For questions or concerns, please email bushra.haq@iantyouth.com


You can RSVP via Facebook or the IANT Youth Website!


Special thanks to Ahmed Salim for the amazing flyer!!

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Friday, February 18, 2011

Want Ads: New Muslim seeks supportive replacement to friendships lost in life transition. Full Time Only Please...

If only it were that easy. To be able to just post an ad when your first going through the transition of leaving your old life of emptiness, to fulfill your desire of closeness with God in Islam.  Or maybe, like one of those online match-maker sites, only you would need to be able to look for a whole lot more than just love. How about searching for a new identity, self belonging, friendships, possibly even a new career?  Wow, do people really ever look back and say "I can't believe I made it through that storm in one piece, but man it was worth it"?  I know I say that on a regular basis and I bet I'm not alone.  There is so much more to this, to becoming a Muslim, than just changing your faith.


Across the globe people everyday are reading, blogging, searching about Islam. It's the hottest topic, even in churches now instead of preaching about Christ, they can't seem to escape bringing up the subject of my new religion, Islam.  The demand for information on Muslims and Islam is growing and heaping and rolling into one of those giant snow balls, rolling down the hill and the best part is how many people it's grabbing into it's snowy fluff along the way. The excitement you feel when you come to Islam, I call it the "New Muslim High"...LOL.  I wish I could bottle that stuff up and sell it, it's such an amazing feeling. It's like all the sudden someone woke you up and said "Hey how's it going, let me introduce your to yourself, that old person was just your stunt double, here's the shiny amazing (you) that you've been dying to meet all this time". Along with any drastic changes to your life, you come to expect the challenges as well. I don't wanna talk about all of them, I would just like to focus on one for now.  I wanna talk about the friends you lose and the new ones you gain and lose and gain...


I remember my own life, before Islam. Sometimes I wish I could forget some things, but it makes me who I am today.  I remember all the "friends" I had before. People would blow up my cell phone when the sun started to go down. They wanted to know what was going on that night, what parties were hot, what clubs was I shooting at, can I add them to this list or that list. "Friends", I called them and they were plentiful.  We had dinner at amazing restaurants in Dallas, they would introduce me to amazing people and I would return the favor, "networking" ourselves to get what we wanted.  We partied together, held each others hair back when one of us had too much to drink and bullied whichever girl was seeing someone's ex.  Life was bliss, so I thought, and we had nothing but good times to remember together, so when I decided to walk away from this life and enter into something with a deeper purpose...these "friends" didn't quite make it through the dirty water filter. Some did, and I thank God everyday for them, but most did not. 


It's a loss that we all have to deal with in our lives but what I want to mention is the gain. The gain that should always be there. When you give up something, you replace it with something new right?  So what happens when you live a completely high energy free style life and you need to replace it with the lifestyle structure of Islam?  I like to picture this huge "worm hole" from Star Trek explosion and walking through that mirror into another dimension and you have no idea what is going to be on the other side, but you hope it's nice and doesn't mind your still wearing last night's makeup.


I went from having a cell phone explosion each night, to slowly and slowly very few calls at all. Sometimes I would just look at my phone, check it, make sure it wasn't on silent and pretend that I didn't know why it was becoming less and less used.  It was because I was becoming less and less used.  I couldn't add people to that list anymore because I chose not to be part of it. I chose not to shoot at those clubs, not to have "hangover" brunch with them the next morning, not to meet for drinks for every occasion imaginable and in the end most of the people who called made a decision also, to not.  "You don't need them" I would tell myself, if they didn't want to be happy for me or supportive then I guess I really didn't need them. What I did need however, were some new high energy exciting friends who would call and take their place, and also fill in that gap in my life so that I wouldn't feel the need to climb back through the mirror. 


No matter how amazing and beautiful and absolutely necessary Islam is in someone's life, there is a much greater need in the first "tri-mester" of their conversion...it's the need of replacement of old with the new.  I'm talking about friendship, support, healing...Open hearts and open minded people who can relate to you, who have things in common with you and hopefully who understand who you are, not as a Muslim, but you before that. This is so important because this is all you know for a while..."the old you".  As a New Muslim, I can that there is nothing more important to maintaining the faith of a New Muslim, than having true and lasting new friendships that help reinforce the decisions that were made in that persons life.  You have know idea how difficult that path can get and having the right people there to guide you, even 5 years later, could be the difference between a girl  who stays passionate about her life for God, and another New Muslim who becomes an Ex Muslim.  They didn't come to Islam for free popcorn, they came for a life focused on God, but if you can't find the common necessities of life to help keep you happy then it's very difficult to hold on to anything at all.  It's so easy to turn away from a new faith simply because you just stopped feeling happy with yourself in it. How does that happen? Simple, because a lot of times New Muslims are unable to find a replaceable lifestyle to fill in the one that they left behind, so naturally they begin to turn back to the way they used to be, because they don't know where else to go. How can we as Muslims, let this happen? Simple, because people get so excited about a person converting, and congratulations and parties and then within a year that person is either still around or they are not and a lot of times it's because of a lack of lasting support and friendships. 


Think about it, you remember seeing someone come to Islam right? You felt so happy, maybe even got a few tears in your eyes. You might have been a peer to that person, similar in age and hobbies, or new someone that could have been a great friend to them and you tried to hang out but got busy with your friends from your own culture, it's easier to spend time with them and their kids play with yours...This is totally understandable. In the end though, if no one is still having a lasting friendship with that New Muslim, then who is?  


I wanted to talk about this mainly because I felt so thankful today. I felt thankful because I enjoyed a nice lunch with a good friend of mine, Shefaq.  She would be so happy to see me finally spelling out her name right, I used to spell it Shafack, even though I knew very well it wasn't right, LOL.  We didn't meet for lunch in uptown Dallas at a posh location to be seen by hot people. We met at my favorite halal spot, Noodlewave, a yummy Tai location in Richardson.  You see, this is my lunch spot "replacement" as a New Muslim.  Shefaq is one of the first Muslim friends I ever made, when I was first learning about Islam.  I met her while attending the New Muslim class at IANT.  Even before I ever converted to Islam, Shefaq was my friend, she was my friend who got to know and like the "old me" and got to know over time the "new me" and God bless her, she still liked me...LOL.  She was there when I said my Shahada and was there when I first got married and I was there when she got married.  Today, almost 4 years after becoming a Muslim, Shefaq still calls.  When other friends had stopped calling, because I wasn't gonna meet them at the club, Shefaq was one of the "replacement" people in my life who never left and stood their next to me while I went on this powerful journey.  I know lunch is not a big deal, people do it all the time, but when you make a change to your lifestyle like me and hundreds of other New Muslims like me, then being that friend, who after years after your "New Muslim High" is still showing up on your caller ID, to ask you to spend time with them...well that lunch is enough to make you sit down and write a blog...and maybe bring a tear to your eye while doing it.  


If your a Muslim and your in contact with a New Muslim...give them a call...and maybe ask them to lunch, no matter how long it's been.


Katherine, Nicole, Shefaq @ Nicole's Shahada, 2007
Nicole, Shefaq Jan, 2009
Shefaq, Nicole & Friends July, 2010
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Friday, January 7, 2011

GuideUS.TV, The First Muslim TV Network in America



What would you get if you combined Sheikh Yusuf Estes, Yusha Evans, Sheikh Mutahhir Sabree, Dr. Bilal Philips, Dr. Mohamed Saleh  and many more of the top Islamic media into one Cable\Internet channel?  You guessed it! You get Guide US TV! The newest light bulb from the brain of Sheikh Yusuf Estes!


We all get kind of sick of seeing such a bad portrayal of Muslims in the media. I know it's a hot topic and I have given many a lecture on the importance of public relations for Muslims in America.  Let's face it, we as Muslims are Googled, YouTubed, and Binged (whats Bing?) more than any other faith in history.  Muslims are popular right now, but not for the reasons we would have hoped for. Not because of the peace we believe in, or the high morals and standards we live by. No, little of this is ever brought up. You mainly just see angry people being caught doing destructive, vile crimes against others while claiming they are with us. Sorry, but I'm not with stupid.  

Guide US TV is the first project that can take the message of what Muslims actually believe and live for, and spread that message across television screens world wide.  No longer being contained inside internet TV, Sheikh Yusuf Estes and his intelliteam of Muslim techies, are taking Islam's teachings, putting them into plain English, and then shooting them across satellites and into our living rooms.  Finally, Muslims will be represented in the media by actual Muslims! Instead of hearing about violence, people can hear about the passion Muslims have for God, and how we put God in the center of our lives!  Most people don't even think Muslims worship God! Wow, we have a lot of work to do, but with such a dynamic team and most massive support imaginable (God's), we can really show the world the beauty behind the message with follow.

Sheikh Yusuf Estes interviews Sharif El-Gamal, developer of Park51, NY.


This is why I have decided to join Guide US TV!

Hassan and I were invited to take part in the 48 hour telethon, hosted by Guide US TV, at the MAS ISNA conference in Chicago.  We saw it as the next step in our Dawah (sharing God's message) campaign.  So after shooting a wedding Dec 24th, I packed my bags and flew to Chicago to see what this was all about.  What an amazing weekend!  Not only was it awesome to meet so many great Muslims in Chicago, but to meet the Guide US team was bliss!  During my own transition into living for God, I used to stay up all night watching Sheikh Yusuf's videos. Tears would come into my eyes as my heart began to realize that I had found something to relate to, an answer to why I was here. Sheikh Yusuf's videos helped Islam's warmth, relate to my lost heart.  On top of that, he's totally hilarious!  

Nicole Queen, Hassan, and Sheikh Yusuf Estes 
Inshallah (God willing), I will work with Sheikh Yusuf and his team on Sister's programming for Guide US TV, which will be a first for the channel.  While in Chicago I was able to get a taste of filming LIVE with the team.  Since we didn't really have a plan for Sister's content, we decided a good idea would be to go with a "talk show" style.  We found some really brave Muslim girls attending the conference and I sat with the girls and LIVE on camera we talked about current events, peer pressure, and how they think Guide US TV can benefit the image of Women in Islam, for Americans.  Currently most Americans feel that Women in Islam are oppressed, uneducated, unsocial and probably miserable with their lives.  I can't speak for all Women but I am certainly none of those things and I am certainly Muslim and not miserable.  Having programs that are available for an American audience allows Muslim Women to properly represent who we really are.  Muslim Women are all types, some are home makers, educators, business Women, doctors, and some like me are in the arts\media industry. It would be so awesome to share stories of Muslim women from all over the world, and we could do that on Guide US TV!

Nicole Queen interviews a Muslimah on GuideUS.TV


One of the discussions I had with the young ladies was about their experiences attending public schools.  While I was in high school I attended public school and I will tell you it's scary. The things that kids are capable of, the things they experiment with. Even if I wasn't a Muslim, I would want my child attending a religious school.  So knowing this, I can't imagine what it's like for a Muslim teen, who wears Hijab (the Muslim modest dress code), to attend a public high school.  One of the young ladies was the first girl in her school to wear Hijab, and what she said was shocking. She stated that people actually were showing her more respect because of the Hijab, and they respected her bravery. The school even made arrangements for a place for her to pray.  This is fantastic and it's so awesome that in our country you can be who you are and follow your faith and it's respected, sometimes (I'm sure some of you have different stories).  Another young student is a senior at her school and I asked her what it's like to face peer pressure as a Muslim in public school.  I remembered how challenging peer pressure could be. You want to fit in, you want to keep up with other teens and if you don't you end up feeling lost and alone, unless you find another group of left out teens to fit in with, but then you can face their pressure as well. The amazing answer she gave me...She said that she doesn't really get challenged with any peer pressure! Huh?...Then it clicked to me. Guys are pressuring girls to do things because the girls are running around showing off their teen bodies. Girls are pressuring each other, because of their need to compete with each other.  A Muslim girl doesn't get invited to parties because she doesn't drink and hang out with "party" girls. A guy isn't going to bother her because she is completely covered up, she is not provoking his raging hormones.  A Muslim girl is not a bully, a gossip queen, a tattle tale, or a wanna be prom queen.  Keeping her priorities in order, and her body protected, her faith shields her from the horror of teen pressure.  WOW...umm for me that would be enough to show my teen daughter Islam. LOL...

Nicole Queen discussing life with other Muslimahs
Sheikh Yusuf Estes helping his team while Nicole Queen films LIVE
On top of being amazed by working with Sheikh Yusuf Estes, I was privileged to meet Brother Yusha Evans, and Sheikh Mutahhir Sabree. Both of these gentlemen are esteemed and very popular speakers for Islam here in America.  Go ahead, Google either one and be amazed at some of their videos on life and Islam.  It's such an awakening, spiritually, to be around people like this.  When ever you feel like you are doing perfectly fine in life...go spend some time with these Brothers and you will always realize you still have much higher to aim! LOL...Ma'shallah (it was God's will) I went home with a hunger to read and read more about Islam. You can never learn enough!  Especially with Br. Yusha Evans, he definitely has a way with words and can really simplify the meaning behind Islam, but at the same time it becomes the most important lesson you could learn.

Nicole Queen, Hassan, Br. Yusha Evans

As we all know the media is very BIG and very EXPENSIVE.  Of course having cable and satellite channels for Guide US TV is going to take some serious moolah.  But don't worry, you can help! And you should. I should, we all should. By all means donate, since it is our duty to do what we can to pursue a better image and reputation for the faith that the Prophet Muhammad SAS (peace be upon him) spent his entire life to spread.  It wasn't easy for him at first.  If you have read anything about Islam and how Prophet Muhammad SAS was able to share the word of God with the Middle East, you will see that he was met with hate and hostility by the idol worshipers.  He was surrounded by them, and people wanted nothing more than to ruin the name of God and destroy the Prophet, SAS.  He never gave up, and neither did the Muslims who followed him.  

Well we have a problem now in America. People have been given the wrong message by hostile radicals and the Prophet, SAS, is not here to defend the good name of Islam (life surrounded around God).  It is up to us, the Muslims of America, to teach Islam to others the way the Prophet, SAS, did, which was through his peaceful, compassionate, and completely understanding character.  Think of how many people we can reach through television? How bout this, think of how quickly and how many people were reached through the media when someone claiming to be a Muslim did something wrong? Well now reverse that with good people who really are Muslim, doing good things in the name of God.  Now you get it! Help us! You don't have to go out in front of the camera, and yes it's really hard to do! All you have to do is support the people who are willing to work hard to share the peace of our faith.  Support them with spare cash, with your prayers, with your Facebook pages, Twitters, heck gossip about us on the phone with your gal pals! Do anything! Just please don't do nothing...I think we have had enough of doing nothing, don't you?


Check it out here!
Link to GuideUS TV


Donate to GuideUS Here!
Link to GuideUS TV 

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Friday, December 3, 2010

SubhanAllah- The Great Outdoors!

Assalamu Alaikum!


I hope you all enjoyed having a little time off, this past Thanksgiving holiday, and maybe even a little turkey!  As an American I truly love getting together with family and friends for dinner and giving thanks to Allah for our time together. This year Hassan and I spent Thanksgiving at a cabin with another couple, in a forest in Oklahoma.  I shared the story of our trip on www.hijabitopia.com, another amazing Muslimah blog I write for, along with my two closest friends.  Check it out, you will see some amazing photos of the beauty and nature Allah created and the great time we had on our adventure!


Check out the full story below @ 



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Thursday, November 4, 2010

Changing for the Better of Me-Part 1

Assalamu Alaikum!  I am so glad that your enjoying my site, and I really hope and pray for any type of benefit you might gain from it, Inshallah!  I would like to take a chance and share the story of my transition into Islam. Since it's kind of a long story I am going to be posting in "Parts". Tonight I am sharing "Part1" which introduces you into my life, "Pre-Islam", as I like to call it. 


*The things you might read can sound a little rough, or offensive, so it's not recommended for younger readers, but a raw look into who I was before God opened the door for me!


Part 1: Full Body Makeover



I don't know where to start.  If you see me around, you will definitely notice the new and improved Nicole.  In order to express the essence of this drastic change I think it's best to start from the beginning, you know, "before and after".


July, 2006


I am busy as ever with Zanphotography.  That's the name of my Event Photography business.  I photograph the shots you see socialite magazines around Dallas.  You saw me all the time, if you were out and knew the hottest places to see and be seen.  I was friends with every club owner, every doorman, DJ, cocktail girl, bartenders…you name it.  I was hired by all the time venues in Dallas to capture their nightlife. I catch the sweat dripping from beautiful silicone filled breasts and show all the hungry people out there what they are missing if they didn't make it to that nights fashion show, or socialite birthday party.  If you loved the Dallas nightlife, then you would love my life.  


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I woke up every morning around noon, if you wanna call that morning…Then I started my day by searching through hundreds of images of whichever hot event I had covered the night before. I love editing out the un-cool, or unattractive, and sending them over to the client for distribution the all the social magazines.  Lunch with friends would follow, or tanning, or whatever I felt like doing. Tanning is a necessity when you show as much skin as I do.  When the night comes is the time when I am most alive. It’s time to shower and go through my extensive closet,  full of sexy revealing party clothes. What to wear? What to wear?…after smoking my eyes, sexing up my hair and taping my top to my chest, I am ready for another day at work.


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  I head out, while answering calls from different friends, setting up that nights after party meet up.  Shoot the venue till about 1 am…celebs, athletes, models…all in front of my camera.  Gotta get all the best shots, catch who ever doesn't wanna be seen but yet they are partying at the most crowded venue in Dallas.  I make my rounds, say my hellos, and give my kisses on the cheeks to who ever that was.  Then it's off to the hot spot I wanna conclude my work day(or night rather) at.  I only have an hour to catch up with my buds, so 6 cocktails should get me their fast enough.  I don't think about the mindless calories I am pouring into my body…Who cares that it’s fattening I still look hot, my chest is perfect, my face is so nice…just show the booty, put on the makeup and keep being in the scene.  Keep em all happy.  Then a trip to Jack in the Box and a drunken drive home at 3 am concludes my work day.  So healthy right? I stumble into my trendy loft, strip off all my clothes, and pass out still in all my hair and makeup…Who cares?  Ahhhh…this the life. While all my friends wake up and head to the office, I am having sweet dreams and hoping that when I wake, I don't wake up realizing I drunk dialed so and so and I'm gonna have to send them a nice "sorry I was drunk" text. 


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 You do a lot that you feel really stupid when you live a life like this, well at least I did. But hey, its so cool. I know everyone, everywhere.  My phone rang off the wall with friends wanting on this club list or that.  Wanting to know where was I going to be tomorrow night and can I shoot this, or that?What a life…right?  


Did I really need a makeover?  Why would I?


The following are actual photos taken by me, during my Zanphotography days, "Pre-Islam".  




Thank you so much for reading, it feels good to share and appreciate the life Allah has granted me. I also invite you to share your story whether it's your conversion to Islam, or maybe it's a story of how you came back to your roots and deepened your faith.  We all benefit when we all share! Send your story to me through email on the Contact Us page.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of "Changing for the Better of Me".


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Thursday, September 9, 2010

Eid Mubarak from Dallas, Texas

I just wanted to share with you a nice piece from the "Revealing Ramadan" series on NPR.  It's a great program and they did a story on different Muslims and what the month of Ramadan means to them. Since it is the last night of Ramadan, sadly, I thought it would be nice to share what Ramadan means to me.  I truly love Ramadan and I am always sad to see it go, but look forward to the coming year.  Even more, I look forward to Eid!  Praying with hundreds of Muslims in Downtown Dallas, you really feel like you belong to something greater than you could imagine.  I love seeing all the bright shining faces and beautiful Eid garments. All the children are so excited, with twinkling eyes and pockets full of sweets.  They look forward to receiving gifts after the prayers and a day full of fun with their families. We are all so thankful for the lives Allah has granted us and for at least this one day, there is peace throughout all Muslim hearts, despite media and political agendas.  I can't wait to see my niece and nephews when I give them their long awaited Eid gifts...sometimes I think it's harder for me to wait to give them, than for them to wait on receiving!  I will depart now, I need to make my first attempt at constructing Eid cookies, in my opinion it ranks in the tops of one of the most difficult cookies to bake, wish me luck in this venture as I'm covered in flour into the long hours of the night!  Hamidillah for lifes simple challenges and simple pleasures...






Revealing Ramadan

Read more on the show's main page.

First Person: Your Voices, Your Stories

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“I remember a friend of mine said to me, "Who is it that thinks your so glamorous and cool? What kind of people are they. They are just like you only caring about themselves and living for nothing...”

Nicole Queen

DALLAS, TX (USA)
Born in 1981
tradition: Sunni Muslim faith
I was born in Houston, Texas to some very young parents. My grandparents are devout Baptist Christians who raised us close to this religion. Our parents didn't really follow any religion, so I used to ride the bus to church alone. When I got my license I drove myself there each Sunday. I stopped attending church after I graduated high school and began life as an adult. I spent some time in college and began working as a photography studio manager. I came back to Dallas from New York and, after managing for five years, began my own photography company.

I scored a few huge jobs shooting celebrity events for Ghost Bar, inside the infamous W Hotel in Dallas. Only the most beautiful and successful people partied at this place. I shot everyone from Justin Timberlake to Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson, and lots of other sports and pop stars that graced our doors.

With this job came lots of other restaurant openings, and every other main street night club had me shooting their private parties. My work then went into all the Dallas magazines, sometimes even in People and Paper City. I got to hang out with publicists from Vogue and worked with the best in the media business. It was simple and glamorous and along came with it lots of glam friends. I could walk into any party and it seemed I couldn't go anywhere at night without spotting friends.

I even had to look the part while working. I had to wear sexy clothes, loads of makeup, and "fohawk" style hair — it was popular at the time. I often found that I had fans. People actually came up and wanted to have their picture with me, on their own cameras. Later I would see it posted on Myspace or Facebook. I partied, and drank, and only cared about one person: me.

Deep down inside though, this life and the people in it started to wear down on my soul. It's a wicked life. I remember standing next to Justin Timberlake and all the flashes from the crowd going off, and we could barely see five feet in front of us. I only took about three shots of him, so I wouldn't get fired and then I slid my lens to the side. I couldn't do it more. It felt horrible all these people screaming, flashing, body guards around him, managers yelling — and this was after he had finished a three-hour concert. What kind of life was that?

I felt dirty that I was part of the reason he couldn't have a normal life. I started wondering what was so great about my life, what was I doing to better anything around me. Nothing, just shooting pictures of people partying and drinking and wow, "Here is my contribution America. I'm here to make the world a more materialistic and vain place!" Not exactly something that would make my grandmother proud.

So here it came, the overwhelming sensation of doubt about who I was and what I was doing with my life. I couldn't sleep. I began having nightmares with people screaming out to help them. I also couldn't escape the thought of the most important question that I had ever asked myself, "What will you say when you must explain your life to God?" OMG, what do you say, "Umm sorry God I am too busy drinking and hanging out with cool people to think about You or to help others."

This is definitely a defining moment in my life where I knew it was time for some changes. I talked with friends about what I was feeling. They tried so hard to help. One friend recommended that I watch a few lectures on YouTube. One of which from a guy named Yusuf Estes, a Muslim convert who used to be a Christian pastor. The best part was he was from Texas! I watched the lectures and when I got to his I heard a bearded man explain everything I was going through right to me as though he was reading my mind.

He told the story of his conversion to Islam from Christianity. Said he needed a greater purpose in life, a better reason to wake up in the morning. Oh how nice this sounded to me. To wake up without thinking, "What did I do last night, and how did I get home alive?"

I became obsessed with learning more about his religion. I would come home from shooting around 2:30 a.m. and get online till the sun came up. It was so relieving to listen to other converts too! Holy cow I found some help! Of course when studying and believing in this religion, you start to look at yourself differently. It's like you see yourself from outside your body!

I remember a friend of mine (who is now my husband) said to me, "Who is it that thinks your so glamorous and cool? What kind of people are they. They are just like you only caring about themselves and living for nothing better." Ouch, those words drove straight through me. He became my biggest supporter in my transition.

I remember one day I wanted to start going to the New Muslim classes at the local masjid and I went into my huge closet to find something suitable to wear. Ha! Good luck! This day I went crazy I think. I teared up as I thrashed through the hangers of sexy tops and tight jeans and pants — not one single thing that I could wear to a holy place. Most of the tops had to be taped on to avoid the loose fabric from exposing your chest! I began crying at myself. What kind of girl was I!

I tore through the clothes, throwing them behind me in a huge pile of slinky embarrassment. When I was done there was only a small rack of barely modest things left. I couldn't afford to replace them all so I slowly began the process of a new wardrobe. I started with looser pants, shirts with long sleeves, modest shoes instead of stilettos, and a low pony tail became my daily routine. Then it went from there, and slowly but surely God carved his way through my black heart and planted Himself deeply inside.

I said my Shahada in April of 2007 in the office of Dr. Yusuf Kavacki, the father of Elif Kavacki. My later husband Hassan was there supporting me, as well as a few new girlfriends I had made from the New Muslim classes. I have a slew of new friends now, who follow the same lifestyle as me. I didn't get rid of any of my old friends, but if your not down for meeting people at the bar, then they tend to stop calling as much, until it's just never at all. No problem for me. I am busy as I ever was and happily married with a wonderful family of in-laws not far away.

I asked Hassan if I could visit Jordan; he is from Amman and his parents and siblings live there. His family was so happy to have me. Muslims have the best sense of family and welcome guests as if they are blood. I stayed with his Mom and Dad for a month. I started wearing the hijab full-time there, it made being out in public easier for me, less men harassing you and people really respect you more. Wow, people respecting me for the way I dress and carry myself in public, that was a new and wonderful feeling.

When I came back to Dallas, I couldn't take off the scarf. I just couldn't stand the thought of going back to being just another "piece of meat" for men to glare at. I didn't want to go back to competing with women based on whose boobs look bigger, and what brand are you wearing and are you sexy enough to be my friend. No more of this life for me. I wanted to be free from those chains and wearing the hijab was the only answer for this. I wore it proud, wore it with style, and actually more men than ever in my life opened doors for me and showed me respect.

One day a man in his 40's came up to me at a store and said, "Where did you get these clothes, you look so classy and stylish. I wish my wife would start dressing this way." Why wouldn't men love this. They have a beautiful wife who shows her skin only to him and in public she covers demanding respect for herself and her religion with every public appearance she makes. I am currently working on designing new headpieces for hijab-wearing women to wear. Soon, Inshallah, I will have the first set completed.

I still do photography, but I keep it clean, you know. I don't shoot clubs or crazy parties anymore. I stick with charity functions, fundraisers, and my newly started wedding and bridal photography is going quite well. I also take part in MAS (Muslim American Society) and WCTI (Woman Converts to Islam). I speak sometimes to schools about Islam, and even to Muslim schools to the younger girls, I try to tell them to stay away from the wrong kind of life. I tell them from experience that it gets you nowhere, a vicious lonely circle where everyone is lonely and rich and it never gets any better.

I have a huge following on Myspace, thanks to the YouTube interview done on me. I use the page on Myspace to reach out to other "party girls" and show them that you can escape that life. Even if you don't wanna become a Muslim, just clean up your life and you will change forever for the best. Having God in your life is the best therapy you could ever hope for, and it's free!

I also love working with Sr. Elif Kavacki. She is a great woman and really trying to open doors for Muslim women everywhere. I am happily married, and we are hoping one day Allah will bless us with an addition to our new little family. My husband and I enjoy living in downtown and keeping each other close to our religion. We frequent trips to the masjid and enjoy nights with friends for dinner. We have picnics by the lake and watch the sunset, and attend a lot of functions with his career. This replaced all the late-night parties and people who don't really care about you. I think it's a pretty good trade, Hamidillah.





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