Want Ads: New Muslim seeks supportive replacement to friendships lost in life transition. Full Time Only Please...

If only it were that easy. To be able to just post an ad when your first going through the transition of leaving your old life of emptiness, to fulfill your desire of closeness with God in Islam.  Or maybe, like one of those online match-maker sites, only you would need to be able to look for a whole lot more than just love. How about searching for a new identity, self belonging, friendships, possibly even a new career?  Wow, do people really ever look back and say "I can't believe I made it through that storm in one piece, but man it was worth it"?  I know I say that on a regular basis and I bet I'm not alone.  There is so much more to this, to becoming a Muslim, than just changing your faith.


Across the globe people everyday are reading, blogging, searching about Islam. It's the hottest topic, even in churches now instead of preaching about Christ, they can't seem to escape bringing up the subject of my new religion, Islam.  The demand for information on Muslims and Islam is growing and heaping and rolling into one of those giant snow balls, rolling down the hill and the best part is how many people it's grabbing into it's snowy fluff along the way. The excitement you feel when you come to Islam, I call it the "New Muslim High"...LOL.  I wish I could bottle that stuff up and sell it, it's such an amazing feeling. It's like all the sudden someone woke you up and said "Hey how's it going, let me introduce your to yourself, that old person was just your stunt double, here's the shiny amazing (you) that you've been dying to meet all this time". Along with any drastic changes to your life, you come to expect the challenges as well. I don't wanna talk about all of them, I would just like to focus on one for now.  I wanna talk about the friends you lose and the new ones you gain and lose and gain...


I remember my own life, before Islam. Sometimes I wish I could forget some things, but it makes me who I am today.  I remember all the "friends" I had before. People would blow up my cell phone when the sun started to go down. They wanted to know what was going on that night, what parties were hot, what clubs was I shooting at, can I add them to this list or that list. "Friends", I called them and they were plentiful.  We had dinner at amazing restaurants in Dallas, they would introduce me to amazing people and I would return the favor, "networking" ourselves to get what we wanted.  We partied together, held each others hair back when one of us had too much to drink and bullied whichever girl was seeing someone's ex.  Life was bliss, so I thought, and we had nothing but good times to remember together, so when I decided to walk away from this life and enter into something with a deeper purpose...these "friends" didn't quite make it through the dirty water filter. Some did, and I thank God everyday for them, but most did not. 


It's a loss that we all have to deal with in our lives but what I want to mention is the gain. The gain that should always be there. When you give up something, you replace it with something new right?  So what happens when you live a completely high energy free style life and you need to replace it with the lifestyle structure of Islam?  I like to picture this huge "worm hole" from Star Trek explosion and walking through that mirror into another dimension and you have no idea what is going to be on the other side, but you hope it's nice and doesn't mind your still wearing last night's makeup.


I went from having a cell phone explosion each night, to slowly and slowly very few calls at all. Sometimes I would just look at my phone, check it, make sure it wasn't on silent and pretend that I didn't know why it was becoming less and less used.  It was because I was becoming less and less used.  I couldn't add people to that list anymore because I chose not to be part of it. I chose not to shoot at those clubs, not to have "hangover" brunch with them the next morning, not to meet for drinks for every occasion imaginable and in the end most of the people who called made a decision also, to not.  "You don't need them" I would tell myself, if they didn't want to be happy for me or supportive then I guess I really didn't need them. What I did need however, were some new high energy exciting friends who would call and take their place, and also fill in that gap in my life so that I wouldn't feel the need to climb back through the mirror. 


No matter how amazing and beautiful and absolutely necessary Islam is in someone's life, there is a much greater need in the first "tri-mester" of their conversion...it's the need of replacement of old with the new.  I'm talking about friendship, support, healing...Open hearts and open minded people who can relate to you, who have things in common with you and hopefully who understand who you are, not as a Muslim, but you before that. This is so important because this is all you know for a while..."the old you".  As a New Muslim, I can that there is nothing more important to maintaining the faith of a New Muslim, than having true and lasting new friendships that help reinforce the decisions that were made in that persons life.  You have know idea how difficult that path can get and having the right people there to guide you, even 5 years later, could be the difference between a girl  who stays passionate about her life for God, and another New Muslim who becomes an Ex Muslim.  They didn't come to Islam for free popcorn, they came for a life focused on God, but if you can't find the common necessities of life to help keep you happy then it's very difficult to hold on to anything at all.  It's so easy to turn away from a new faith simply because you just stopped feeling happy with yourself in it. How does that happen? Simple, because a lot of times New Muslims are unable to find a replaceable lifestyle to fill in the one that they left behind, so naturally they begin to turn back to the way they used to be, because they don't know where else to go. How can we as Muslims, let this happen? Simple, because people get so excited about a person converting, and congratulations and parties and then within a year that person is either still around or they are not and a lot of times it's because of a lack of lasting support and friendships. 


Think about it, you remember seeing someone come to Islam right? You felt so happy, maybe even got a few tears in your eyes. You might have been a peer to that person, similar in age and hobbies, or new someone that could have been a great friend to them and you tried to hang out but got busy with your friends from your own culture, it's easier to spend time with them and their kids play with yours...This is totally understandable. In the end though, if no one is still having a lasting friendship with that New Muslim, then who is?  


I wanted to talk about this mainly because I felt so thankful today. I felt thankful because I enjoyed a nice lunch with a good friend of mine, Shefaq.  She would be so happy to see me finally spelling out her name right, I used to spell it Shafack, even though I knew very well it wasn't right, LOL.  We didn't meet for lunch in uptown Dallas at a posh location to be seen by hot people. We met at my favorite halal spot, Noodlewave, a yummy Tai location in Richardson.  You see, this is my lunch spot "replacement" as a New Muslim.  Shefaq is one of the first Muslim friends I ever made, when I was first learning about Islam.  I met her while attending the New Muslim class at IANT.  Even before I ever converted to Islam, Shefaq was my friend, she was my friend who got to know and like the "old me" and got to know over time the "new me" and God bless her, she still liked me...LOL.  She was there when I said my Shahada and was there when I first got married and I was there when she got married.  Today, almost 4 years after becoming a Muslim, Shefaq still calls.  When other friends had stopped calling, because I wasn't gonna meet them at the club, Shefaq was one of the "replacement" people in my life who never left and stood their next to me while I went on this powerful journey.  I know lunch is not a big deal, people do it all the time, but when you make a change to your lifestyle like me and hundreds of other New Muslims like me, then being that friend, who after years after your "New Muslim High" is still showing up on your caller ID, to ask you to spend time with them...well that lunch is enough to make you sit down and write a blog...and maybe bring a tear to your eye while doing it.  


If your a Muslim and your in contact with a New Muslim...give them a call...and maybe ask them to lunch, no matter how long it's been.

Katherine, Nicole, Shefaq @ Nicole's Shahada, 2007

Nicole, Shefaq Jan, 2009

Shefaq, Nicole & Friends July, 2010

"Any Mistakes Are Made By Me Alone, Not By My Religion"

Assalamu Alaikum


A wonderful Brother on my Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/Queens.of.Islam, sent me a link to the article I am going to share with you below.  I really love reading about experiences such as the first time a person visits a mosque, or meets and befriends a Muslim.  After reading this article, I would love to hear back from you on your first time entering a mosque!


This article is shared with you from:

‘ANY MISTAKES ARE MADE BY ME ALONE, NOT BY MY RELIGION’

I’ve never been a prejudice person. I’ve always mixed with different races and religions. So when my partner asked me to attend a mosque with him, I was interested. Especially giving the fact that a year ago, he was the type to have picked a fight with a Muslim for simply that, being a Muslim.

What had opened his mind, was working with a group of Muslim’s and a group of Christian’s, in constant (but friendly) debate. Being caught in the midst of these religious discussions and being atheist, he was somehow pulled in to the conversation and decided he’d like to view the way both religions work in order to gain a better perspective. After all, in Britain and today, there is ongoing media coverage over the ‘war’ between British culture and Islam.

What caught the attention of my partner the most, (and not to mention mine) is the fact that all the Muslims he knew, were converted, they were not born into or forced to be a Muslim, they were from other religions or were not religious at all. One individual being in fact so against Islam, that he actually intended to attack his sister’s boyfriend on discovering he was Muslim, yet now, he is sending me messages about Allah through Face Book. The change is miraculous. The change in my boyfriend is miraculous. I had to check out for myself the religion which is so publicly damned, yet seemed to be turning prejudice ‘thugs’, into peaceful citizens.

Friday came and upon hearing I was to be separated from my partner and had to worship in a separate part of the mosque, I was slightly put off and intimidated by the thought, but reassured by one of his friends offering to bring his wife so she could help me and keep me company. I wasn’t fully aware of the reasoning behind this separation, but John told us that when you are in worship to Allah, you’re mind and body should be solely focused on worship alone, yet if men and women are in a mosque together, they will distract each other from doing so, as John put it, “If some girl is bending over in front of you, you’re not really going to be able to concentrate on praying to Allah are you?”- The boy has a fair point.  So at 1pm, we went down to Baker Street and followed the mass of Muslim’s attending worship. Upon entering, I was blissfully unaware John’s wife couldn’t make it until one of the others asked another attending woman, Selina*, if she would accompany me in. I was then ushered off in a midst of confusion and slight panic, but was automatically comforted by her gentle presence and guidance. She was incredibly kind, and said she would answer any questions I had.

On entering the female section, I was asked to remove my shoes (luckily I decided to wear socks that day-I’m not a big fan) and I had brought a scarf which I was very nervous I’d wear wrong, but was told not to worry and just to drape it round my head in any way. This surprised me, because I thought my mass of long curls and swept over fringe would surely offend a religion that ‘oppresses’ women so blatantly according to reports we read in the media. I tried to cover up to what I felt was respectable, without jeopardising my love of fashion and all things indie and punk 80’s. Donning a pair of black leggings and huge oversized jumper which drowned me to almost my knees, I felt fairly comfortable that I was adequately concealed, even though I was the only female out of hundreds, not wearing a floor length skirt.

We walked up a flight of stairs and peaked through a door where I could see hoards of women and young girls kneeling on the floor, but not much else. I was incredibly interested to see what the prayer hall (musalla) looked like in contrast to the many Church’s I had attended through my life time, but I barely caught a glimpse before we headed back downstairs. We walked past a tiled area which had taps and shallow water, and I assume, if I’ve heard right, this is where you can wash your feet, but at the time, I was still too shy to begin firing questions (I have since learnt this is the wudu, where Muslims wash their hands, forearm, face and feet before prayer). We then moved on past the ladies and into a small squared room, which didn’t have a door, just an open entrance, and we sat down amongst a crowd women already in worship. The khutbah (a public address or speech) was seeping through the speakers (spoken by the Imam, who I suppose, is similar to the Christian’s Priest), although I wasn’t aware where they were. Apparently, sometimes the musalla is so full, you have to find another area, like the one we were in, and the prayer is played out throughout the mosque for all to hear. I thought this part would be very strict, and I’d have to sit in absolute silence, confused over what to do next and attempting to pathetically copy my new found Muslim friend.  But instead, we sat down and children played amongst us quietly, whilst she explained that this prayer is said first in Arabic, and then in English, for those who do not understand. This prayer seemed to go on for quite a while, and I felt lost and did not sense any inner peace which I get upon entering a Church. I felt no atmosphere of sacredness or quiet, yet I knew this was mainly due to my bewilderment of my surroundings and my lack of understanding on the culture and religion. If I understood the prayer (even in English, I struggled to comprehend over the accent) then I could focus on that and grasp some meaning. However, Selina went on to continue talking to me and explained what I think she felt was wrongly perceived in Britain, she spoke to me about their reasoning behind not eating pork or drinking, and said that she even researched for evidence behind the claims (Islam believes that pork and alcohol are damaging to the body over the years) and was surprised to find out there is evidence behind their claims (this is debatable according to reports on the net). She also advised me over the so called ‘oppression’ of women and the covering of their body from their wrists to their ankles, but revealed what isn’t so publicly documented, that men also have to dress to portray modesty, by wearing loose and clean clothing that doesn’t reveal their figure. I have since researched this and found the following:

‘Islam requires that its adherents wear clothes that portray modesty. As a result, although many mosques will not enforce violations, both men and women when attending a mosque must adhere to these guidelines. Men are supposed to come to the mosque wearing loose and clean clothes that do not reveal the shape of the body. Likewise, it is recommended that women at a mosque wear loose clothing that covers to the wrists and ankles, and cover their heads with a hijab or other covering. Many Muslims, regardless of their ethnic background, wear Middle eastern clothing associated with Arabic Islam to special occasions and prayers at mosques.’

‘Modesty in Islam is encouraged for both sexes. For the women they can wear whatever they like so long as it is modest. Modesty is outlined in the authentic text of Islam. You can wear Western clothing and be modest. However many Muslims will have different views on modesty. In the mosque however it is compulsory to cover the hair and the body. However there are many Muslim women who do not wear the hijab 24/7. This does not mean they are not good Muslims. Everything in Islam is done by choice. You are not forced to do anything and God is the Ultimate Judge. Intention is the most important thing in Islam. You have to make a genuine intention in your heart when perform any act or worship or good deed for it to be accepted by Allah.’

So just like in Christianity, there are ‘rules’ you are advised to follow, but some do not follow them so strictly. We must also remember, those who follow Islam or Christianity by the ‘book’ so to speak, are devoted followers such as Nuns and Monks, who after all, wear floor length attire that often cover their neck, checks and hair and up to their wrists, which is similar to the way in which Muslim’s are advised to dress, yet not so publicly damned.

Selina also went on to explain how Islam is not so different from Christianity, and that they do not hate other cultures or Christians, but simply, like other cultures, they have extremists who unfortunately portray a hate which is deemed as the attitude of all of Islam, which is not the case. She told me how they do believe in Jesus, but they do not believe He was the Son of God, that instead they believe He was another prophet, and that it doesn’t make sense to say you shall not worship anyone else but God, yet Christian’s are told to worship Jesus (although to Christianity will argue this with the claim that Jesus is God). Islam in fact believes Jesus was a prophet and even believes He will return to us towards the end of the world. I have outlined Islam’s beliefs of Jesus below:

In Islam, Jesus (Arabic: عيسى `Īsā) is considered a Messenger of God who had been sent to guide the People of Israel (banī isrā’īl) with a new scripture, the Injīl (gospel).^[1] The Qur’an, believed by Muslims to be God’s final revelation, mentions Jesus 25 times.^[2] It states that Jesus was born to Mary (Arabic: Maryam) as the result of virginal conception, a miraculous event which occurred by the decree of God (Arabic: Rab). To aid him in his quest, Jesus was given the ability to perform miracles, all by the permission of God. According to Islamic texts, Jesus was neither killed nor crucified, but rather he was raised alive up to heaven. ^[3] Islamic traditions (but not Qur’an) narrate that he will return to Earth near the day of judgment to restore justice and defeat al-Masīḥ ad-Dajjāl (lit. “the false messiah”, also known as the Antichrist).^[4][5] Like all prophets in Islam, Jesus is considered to have been a Muslim, as he preached for people to adopt the straight path in submission to God’s will. Islam rejects that Jesus was God incarnate or the son of God, stating that he was a mortal man who, like other prophets, had been divinely chosen to spread God’s message. Islamic texts forbid the association of partners with God (shirk), emphasizing the notion of God’s divine oneness (tawhīd). Numerous titles are given to Jesus in the Qur’an, such as al-Masīḥ (“the messiah; the anointed one” i.e. by means of blessings), although it does not correspond with the meaning accrued in Christian belief. Jesus is seen in Islam as a precursor to Muhammad, and is believed by Muslims to have foretold the latter’s coming.^[5][6]‎

However, when she explained this to me, there was no anger, determined grit in her voice, she was calm and simply allowing me an insight into their beliefs. I never once felt from her that the faith was being forced upon me, merely that I was given information and could freely decide what I wanted to do with it.

We discussed a few other aspects before she had to pray (called the salaah) and at this point, I was advised to sit and watch. I was made to feel incredibly welcome, but did wonder what people thought of a white girl, with a badly wrapped head scarf and leggings, sitting in the corner, not joining in on prayer. I felt the need to explain to everyone I wasn’t disrespecting them, I was just trying to learn, yet funnily enough, these were all misconceptions in my head, and was never once implied by anyone else present. On the contrary, I was welcomed with open arms, especially when at the end of the service, my Muslim friend approached 2 white girls (she called them sisters) and spoke to them briefly, before they came over to me, and warmly hugged me, kissed me and fussed hugely over me with big smiles and honestly, some of the kindest eyes I’ve seen. They explained they both converted to Islam a year ago, although they didn’t know each other before, instead had met through their new found faith. They seemed ecstatically happy, at peace and incredibly willing to help me and guide me. We discussed how they both felt Christianity left a lot of questions unanswered, yet were told to believe and not debate any of these. One also mentioned how she tried Buddhism, Scientology and Spiritualism amongst others before finally finding peace and belief in Islam. We all exchanged numbers and face books, emails, etc and it was nice to be so readily accepted by a group of girls, which I will be honest, is not that often in a westernised society (you’ll more likely to get dirty looks!). I encountered my first issue at this point, a much older woman, with a thick accent I could barely understand, began to get very heated about us writing on paper inside the mosque, asking to see what we had written and telling us to write outside. I later discussed this with the girls, and learnt that this is due to reporters sneaking in on several occasions, and writing damning reports on Islam (at this point I had no intention to write a feature-I swear!). The same woman then spotted my leggings (I knew I’d get in trouble for this) and began touching my leg and feeling the fabric, I think to emphasise the tightness of them or something and demanded I go and buy a skirt from the clothes shop at the mosque. I couldn’t really understand what was happening but my new found friends whisked me away and explained some people can be ignorant and shouldn’t react that way, instead it is a Muslim’s duty to welcome another into their faith, but again, I was more than aware this was the only individual I met displaying such an attitude. I researched into this duty of Islam and have been advised the following:

‘It is the duty of ALL Muslims to convey the message of Islam to all of humanity. It is usually the Muslims who are knowledgeable about their religion who are most keen to help. The ones that do not are usually very ignorant as they are not educated thoroughly in their religion.
Most Muslims know that Islam is a universal religion, meant for ALL mankind. Allah (God) is the Lord and Creator of the entire Universe, and Muslims have been entrusted with the duty of conveying the message to ALL mankind. Alas, most Muslims have become callous to this duty! While accepting Islam as the best way of life for ourselves, most Muslims are unwilling to share this knowledge with those of whom the message of Islam has not been conveyed. This is just through ignorance. The lady that helped you is obviously caring and following what she has been commanded by Allah (God) in the Holy Qur’an.
The Arabic word called Da’wah means a CALL or an INVITATION. In the Islamic context, it means to strive for the propagation of Islam. The Glorious Qur’an says:
“Ah! Who is more unjust than those who conceal the testimony they have from Allah? But Allah is not unmindful of what you do!” (2:140)
Da’wah can be done in many ways but the best way is to set an example by living a life of righteousness, charity, good manners, kindness and humility to our brothers and sisters in humanity.
The Qur’an says:
“Invite ALL to the way if your Lord, with WISDOM and BEAUTIFUL preaching, and argue with them in ways that are BEST and most GRACIOUS!” (16:125)
I am aware that there are Muslims who are dishonest, unreliable, who cheat, etc. And the media projects this as though all Muslims are of this character. There are black sheep in every community. I know Muslims who are drunks and who can drink most of the non-Muslims under the table. There are the ones that hold extreme views that cannot be justified by the authentic scriptures of Islam. However you cannot say that the whole family is bad just because of the black sheep. Islam is perfect in my eyes but Muslims are not.
Any mistakes are made by me alone and not by my religion.
Salaam alaikum (Peace be upon u)’

Myself and the lovely ladies chatted away for so long that by the time we left the prayer hall area, I had 4 missed calls and my partner was waiting for me with a tub of food John had bought me from inside. Apparently, this was all part of the duty to be welcoming, etc. The girls commented he was great husband material and that the men are supposed to provide and care for you and if you wished, you wouldn’t have to work (although I had something to say about that!) He then went to explore the mosque further and I wandered off with the girls who wanted to buy me some books to help me learn if I wanted. All the books appeared very complicated and they suggested they’d send me the books they first began reading instead, but I then turned round to find that John had kindly purchased 2 books for me already, 1 being the Qur’an, and one being on women in Islam. The books equated to somewhere around £25 and I was constantly surprised by the level of giving and kindness I was receiving.

Eventually I said my goodbyes and I left with my partner and is two work colleagues, and discussed Christianity, Islam and random conspiracy theories further on our way to Victoria. They explained how it wasn’t their job to convert us, they wouldn’t hold it against us if we didn’t, but it was their job to pass on the message of Allah, and it was up to us to decide what we wanted to do with the information. They even said, if we became Muslim, it’s up to us how far we take the guidelines of Islam, and he wouldn’t judge us for our decisions.

I left the service, and the guys feeling very knowledgeable, refreshed and incredibly glad I decided to attend. My perspective had increased enormously and I was in awe of the people I met and their kindness. I was almost proud of what I had learnt and wanted to share it, but upon telling others, I was met with responses of ‘Did you check your pockets? They might have slipped a bomb in there.’ amongst many many others comments. An angry debate erupted, but try as I might, I could not get my flat mates to see above their ignorance and just listen to my story.

I suddenly felt hugely ashamed that my culture was disrespecting another culture who had welcomed me so kindly and were doing so blindly. If people were educated more, and gave me a logical argument, I could respect their opinion, but with no evidence behind their accusations, and with such childish comments, I felt very frustrated that this is what so many western civilisations were thinking due to media manipulation. With an estimated 2.4 million Muslim’s living in Britain, surely we’d have some severe issues than we have now if they were all as extremists, as my flat mates appear to believe?

I’m not writing this to convert the readers, or myself. To be honest, I have a love of fashion too much to ever fully follow the religion in its entirety and I don’t feel like I yet know enough about it to make that decision any way. But what I am writing this for, is to bring an awareness to those who believe everything the media pumps out (yes I am fully aware we are the media, but the guys with the power haven’t got to us just yet!) and before making an assumption of Islam, or any religion, culture, individual even, do your research before you believe second hand information. Find out for yourself and make your own decision. It is about time we stopped allowing our Government to dictate what we think, you may argue with me on this, but it happens unconsciously. If they put out certain messages in the media you believe, they have already altered your mentality and likeliness to make an assumption or belief on that information, without actually finding out the truth for yourself.

The UK is fast becoming a mindless nation. Don’t let it prejudice and hate breed any further. We are all one world.

*name protected.

Illustrated by Tom Dench-Layton

Changing for the Better of Me-Part 1

Assalamu Alaikum!  I am so glad that your enjoying my site, and I really hope and pray for any type of benefit you might gain from it, Inshallah!  I would like to take a chance and share the story of my transition into Islam. Since it's kind of a long story I am going to be posting in "Parts". Tonight I am sharing "Part1" which introduces you into my life, "Pre-Islam", as I like to call it. 


*The things you might read can sound a little rough, or offensive, so it's not recommended for younger readers, but a raw look into who I was before God opened the door for me!

Part 1: Full Body Makeover



I don't know where to start.  If you see me around, you will definitely notice the new and improved Nicole.  In order to express the essence of this drastic change I think it's best to start from the beginning, you know, "before and after".


July, 2006


I am busy as ever with Zanphotography.  That's the name of my Event Photography business.  I photograph the shots you see socialite magazines around Dallas.  You saw me all the time, if you were out and knew the hottest places to see and be seen.  I was friends with every club owner, every doorman, DJ, cocktail girl, bartenders…you name it.  I was hired by all the time venues in Dallas to capture their nightlife. I catch the sweat dripping from beautiful silicone filled breasts and show all the hungry people out there what they are missing if they didn't make it to that nights fashion show, or socialite birthday party.  If you loved the Dallas nightlife, then you would love my life.  



I woke up every morning around noon, if you wanna call that morning…Then I started my day by searching through hundreds of images of whichever hot event I had covered the night before. I love editing out the un-cool, or unattractive, and sending them over to the client for distribution the all the social magazines.  Lunch with friends would follow, or tanning, or whatever I felt like doing. Tanning is a necessity when you show as much skin as I do.  When the night comes is the time when I am most alive. It’s time to shower and go through my extensive closet,  full of sexy revealing party clothes. What to wear? What to wear?…after smoking my eyes, sexing up my hair and taping my top to my chest, I am ready for another day at work.



  I head out, while answering calls from different friends, setting up that nights after party meet up.  Shoot the venue till about 1 am…celebs, athletes, models…all in front of my camera.  Gotta get all the best shots, catch who ever doesn't wanna be seen but yet they are partying at the most crowded venue in Dallas.  I make my rounds, say my hellos, and give my kisses on the cheeks to who ever that was.  Then it's off to the hot spot I wanna conclude my work day(or night rather) at.  I only have an hour to catch up with my buds, so 6 cocktails should get me their fast enough.  I don't think about the mindless calories I am pouring into my body…Who cares that it’s fattening I still look hot, my chest is perfect, my face is so nice…just show the booty, put on the makeup and keep being in the scene.  Keep em all happy.  Then a trip to Jack in the Box and a drunken drive home at 3 am concludes my work day.  So healthy right? I stumble into my trendy loft, strip off all my clothes, and pass out still in all my hair and makeup…Who cares?  Ahhhh…this the life. While all my friends wake up and head to the office, I am having sweet dreams and hoping that when I wake, I don't wake up realizing I drunk dialed so and so and I'm gonna have to send them a nice "sorry I was drunk" text. 





 You do a lot that you feel really stupid when you live a life like this, well at least I did. But hey, its so cool. I know everyone, everywhere.  My phone rang off the wall with friends wanting on this club list or that.  Wanting to know where was I going to be tomorrow night and can I shoot this, or that?What a life…right?  


Did I really need a makeover?  Why would I?

The following are actual photos taken by me, during my Zanphotography days, "Pre-Islam".  

Thank you so much for reading, it feels good to share and appreciate the life Allah has granted me. I also invite you to share your story whether it's your conversion to Islam, or maybe it's a story of how you came back to your roots and deepened your faith.  We all benefit when we all share! Send your story to me through email on the Contact Us page.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of "Changing for the Better of Me".

To Wear…or Not to Wear?…That is the Question.

 
The following is an article from my dear friend Elif Kavakci.  I thought this was a great article to share during the blessed month of Ramadan.  You can check out more of Elif’s articles on her blog:
click to see:
 
 

 
I wanted to share with you a few thoughts...  First of all, we formed this blog so that it could provide a support system and a fun environment for hijabis and those who choose to dress modestly. 

Over the years, through my writing, I have been able to reach millions of readers.  Before I started writing for HijabiTopia, I was a fashion writer for ZAMAN - the Turkish daily news, and then transfered over to Kadinhaberleri.com, where now I have a weekly column.

Also being an Islamic Fashion designer, I've had many ladies contact me about changing the way they dress, and leading a more Islamic life style.

Writing has allowed me to get to know so many new faces, and beautiful ladies, some who wear hijab, some who are in search of how to wear hijab, and others who know exactly what to do but can't take the first steps.

It has been fun to share experiences and support each other through spiritual changes in our lives.
I will now share with you some of my thoughts on hijab. For those of you who may not personally know me, I am not an extremist Muslim, and could never be one. I like to follow the sunnah of our Prophet (peace be upon him) about having balance in my religion. So therefore when I tell you my thoughts on this topic, I don't want you to think that I am some fundamentalist. I'm just sharing my thoughts on the way I feel.
I feel very passionate about hijab.  Alot of Muslims will state that it is an option to wear hijab. I am not one of those Muslims. I believe it is Fard (obligatory), because it is clearly written in the Qur'an that believing women must dress Islamically.

When people say it is a choice, it makes my blood boil. There is no question! To wear or not to wear hijab is not an option. If you love Allah and want to please him, you wear it. If you don't wear it, that is a decision you make as a Muslim, not a choice.

Now having said that, you are probably thinking "she hates all non hijabis, she sounds so extreme". Absolutelly not. I have many friends, those who wear hijab and those who don't.  Those who are Muslim, and those who are not.  I love them all equally. Whether they wear hijab or not does not affect my friendship with them.  But my closest friends are always the ones whose lifestyles, goals, and dreams are closer to mine.  I am encircled by those friends.


I'm not going to tell you that wearing hijab is easy! Untill it becomes a complete part of you, it's difficult to carry. Yes, we get hot! Yes, it gets itchy. Yes we would love to just tie our hair in a pony tail, throw on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and flip flops and walk out the door. But do we, NO! And why don't we? To please Allah!
This Ramadan, I would like for you to think about that. If you haven't started wearing hijab, just imagine yourself in hijab. Imagine how happy it would make you feel to submit to an obligatory rule from the Qur'an.
Ramadan uplifts our spirits. It's the same kind of feeling when you wear hijab, except it's on a daily basis. Imagine what you would feel like in the beauty of hijab. When you close your eyes, try to get beyond your image, and how other people might react to it,  try to think of Allah, and try to think of all of us who are right there with you. Just like when you fast. You do the act  yourself, but millions of Muslims are doing it as well.
I could go on and on about this topic. We will have many discussions, and I would love to hear your comments, and your stories, whether you wear hijab or not. We love to have you as readers. Anybody and everybody is welcome.


Elif Kavakci for HijabiTopia

“Journey into America”- The Challenge of Islam

I want to take a moment to share my thoughts (humbly) on this unique and ground breaking book, just released in July.  If you are reading this blog (I’m honored), stop whatever it is your doing and enlighten yourself with the first “good read” for all who desire understanding and acceptance of society, faith, and culture in the beautiful U.S.A.  After reading this I truly felt “proud to be an American” as well as a sense of pride in my faith of Islam (if the two could ever be bridged).  As a matter of fact that’s what this journey is all about, bridges…

Check out Ambassador Akbar Ahmed talking about his new book, "Journey into America" on The Daily Show!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Akbar Ahmed
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party I was lucky enough to be involved in this “Journey into America” when my dear friend Elif Kavakci (blog: HijabiTopia) invited me to photograph for an interview she was doing for Turkish publication, Zaman News. The article featured an America girl who was on an anthropological study of Muslims in America and also life in Muslim countries. Hailey was her name, and the curious tendencies of human beings are her game.  Hailey is a star pupil of the famed Professor\Ambassador Akbar Ahmed, of the American University in Cairo, and traveled with him and the rest of their group across several Muslim countries and then across her own homeland here in America.  Elif Kavakci interviews Hailey Woldt   After photographing Hailey for Elif’s article, I was invited for dinner at the Kavakci home, where Hailey in turn would like to study into my own humble brain for the secret life of an American convert to Islam.  The Professor also attended and it was truly an inspiring evening to top all dinner invitations (in my book).  Elif Kavakci, Hailey Woldt, Nicole Queen The next day I met Hailey and Elif and the Professor, along with another star student manning a small camera, at a high end mall in Dallas.  Hailey wanted to perform a sort of anthropology experiment where the three of us would dress in all black conservative garments, looking like what most Americans view as extreme Muslims, with simple black scarves around our hair, and heavy black abaya’s.  This was an experiment she had tried before in a small town on her own (braver than me!) and was able to see a lot of shocked reactions from people, based on merely her clothing.  Honestly, I told Hailey “Hey this is Dallas, people aren’t shocked to see Muslims shopping in the mall, the mall is always full of Muslim women blissfully shopping. Elif and I only know this because it’s what we have heard…LOL”.  We continued on anyway just to see if we could catch a few uncomfortable glances from passersby, curious at our choice of garments.  Later that day I met with Hailey at the hotel they were staying at nearby and we engaged in conversation on camera, for their documentary, “Journey into America”. Which later, was further inscribed into the pages of this challenging novel, “Journey into America-The Challenge of Islam” I’m not going to spoil it but this book is not your “run of the mill” political or social writings… “Professor Akbar Ahmed turns his intrepid approach to cultural dialogue and inter-faith understanding onto American society, in this brilliant follow-up to “Journey into Islam”. His insights should be required reading for anyone grappling with national security, national identity and national cohesion in today’s complex era.” Colonel David Kilcullen, author of Washington PostBestseller and Economist Book of the Year, The Accidental Guerrilla “I have not read a work as insightful, erudite, and innovative on the challenge of American identity since Alexis de Tocqueville’s Democracy in America. Akbar Ahmed sets a new paradigm in the ongoing debate on defining American identity.” Melody Fox, Berkley Center at Georgetown University   In this book, you will follow the adventures of a group of enlightening students, as they themselves discover what it’s like to be a Muslim in the U.S., post 9\11. You had me at Chapter 1…it’s exciting right off the bat.  Un-Expectantly adventurous and even a little frightening, but only enough to keep you wanting more.  Here is a small preview: Muslim Odyssey "I had walked into an ambush. An aggressive sniper was positioned directly in front of me, with two equally effective sharp-shooters to my left and the obvious leader of the group facing me from the back row. Having been in charge of some of the most battle-hardened tribes in Afghanistan and Pakistan, I knew something about war tactics.  One lesson I had learned was to keep cool under fire.” Showdown in a Mosque “Where does one begin a search for American identity and it’s Muslim component?  The answer seemed obvious: in the nation’s heartland.  But what could be learned about America’s founding principles of freedom of speech and religious tolerance in a nondescript, almost shabby mosque in Omaha, Nebraska, where I now was?  Especially in the midst of a verbal ambush by an African American man wearing a typical Arab red-and-white checkered headdress, or kufiya, who looked as if he had come straight out of an orthodox mosque in Saudi Arabia. Hearing my call for interfaith dialogue with Jews and Christians, the man stood up in a startling breach of mosque-not to mention Muslim- etiquette to challenge my interpretation of Islam.  “Good Muslims” could not talk to nonbelievers, he almost shouted.  The salvos continued, despite my well-founded explanation: Muhammad, the holy Prophet of Islam, had himself paved the way for such dialogue.  He had urged Muslims persecuted in Mecca to migrate to Abyssinia, a Christian country, because he anticipated they would be well received there once the natives of that land had met them and learned about Islam.  But, the man in Arab headdress snapped back, the Prophet had really intended those Muslims to convert the Abyssinians by force.” “The next day the team interviewed people about Omaha’s Islamic center and community.  The four who had challenged me, they learned, had posted a fatwa (pronouncement) in the mosque before 9\11 calling for the killings of Jews and Christians and praising the deeds of Osama bin Laden. All four were converts to what is known as Salafi Islam, in the United States, a fundamentalist version of the faith influenced by Saudi Arabia. It purports to be an unadulterated and “pure” form of Islam that is incompatible with any modern Western ideas.” I was honored to discover that excerpts from my interview with Hailey are featured in such an amazing collection of societal history.  I would have never had the pleasure of meeting Hailey and the Professor if it wasn’t for the selfless act of my dear friend Elif, mentioning to the group that I was also an American who had become Muslim…and that I had a story to tell.  I learn on a daily basis what true friendship actually means, it’s an ever changing definition, and one of my favorite addendums is “A real friend is excited to promote the smallest attributes in their close friends, even placing them before their own much more grand achievements.”  I thank God every day for my new “Friendship Philanthropists”, without I might have never seen it’s true meaning.  Below are a few passages from my feeble attempt at sharing something in this amazing book.  Once again I am so thankful to my dear friend for opening the door to conversation with Professor Ahmed and his star pupil Hailey.  Thank you to the Professor for hearing my words and illuminating them with such understanding and clarity. Muslim Converts:  Shame and Honor in a Time of Excess “Religious Conversion is a dramatic event in anyone’s life, no less than it was for Saint Paul on the road to Damascus.  It changes everything. Fashion photographer Nicole Queen of Dallas had arrived at just such a turning point, paradoxically, at the pinnacle of her career. She was standing next to Justin Timberlake, one of pop music’s icons, with cameras flashing.  The glare seemed to illuminate the world of vacuous celebrity that Nicole was part of.  Wasn’t there more to life than this?  At the suggestion of a Muslim friend, she watched motivational videos on YouTube and was impressed by Yusuf Estes, a white Muslim convert from Texas who was once a member of the Disciples of Christ Church.  Shortly after, Nicole converted to Islam. “One of the reasons for her conversion, Nicole explained, was the excessive behavior of women who appeared to be without shame or modesty, especially in front of a camera: “Girls took off their tops, exposed their breasts, they were making out with each other-and they aren’t lesbians, but if a camera’s there "I’ll do it if you put it on TV.”…Do you think their parents are proud of that?…They want to show that stuff because that’s what people want to see.  How low can a girl go?  That’s what sells here.  They know what everybody likes; everybody likes to see the lowest point that someone can go.  People just want to make a dollar out of it; these are the morals of our nation, whether we want to face that or not.” “For Nicole, conversion to Islam allows her to reaffirm her American identity. Once the heat and noise subside, it is American converts like her who can play an effective role in interpreting mainstream Americans and Muslims to each other.  By doing so, they are ideally placed to counteract the idea of a clash between the two.” Reading this treasure takes you on an indescribable journey that truly awakens your mind, clears out cluttered thoughts, and focuses much needed attention on the gripping relationship of Americans and Muslims.  I truly home you will embark on this contribution to the vibrancy of American Islam. Click below to get your copy of: “Journey into America-The Challenge of Islam”

Filming with Algeria TV

"They Chose Islam"
Aires during Ramadan-Algeria TV




I'm so glad that my amazing husband Hassan helps me with the messages I get, he is a blessing for sure. Without his help, I would have never seen the message from a wonderful producer at Algeria TV, requesting that I join their documentary film "They Chose Islam".


A lot of countries in the Middle East, meaning Muslim countries, are so shocked and amazed that Muslims are happy living in America and even more surprising that US natives are choosing to join the ranks of Muslims in this free country.  Some might think," Being a Muslim is a tough life, of discipline and sacrifice, why would you want to leave your easy life for this?"  Well it's such a pleasure to be part of a project aiming to teach the "born Muslims" of the world why Islam is such a great fit for Americans.  Americans who convert to Islam do so with such a profound passion and determination that the people who were teaching them about Islam, end up being left in the dust of their deen. 


When someone living in the US learns about Islam, usually one of two things happens. One being complete rejection of the faith, not understanding the reasoning behind all the sacrifice they will have to make from their lawless lifestyle.  The other is the most beautiful, complete and boundless devotion to Islam's message and the lifestyle prescribed by God.  It's like waking up from a bad dream.  When you are tired of living like life is some game and we are all little toys to be played with by each other...then living for God is the rehab that a lot of Americans are checking into. 

When people in the Middle East think of America, they picture something of what they see the movies....Great right?  So all the women are plastic and "loose" and all the men are unnaturally handsome and have intelligence beyond capability.  Money is growing on trees, we all have plenty of time for adventures and leave our kids with our South American nannies.  Then when they actually get here they see that well, all except for the super intellect of our men, it's close to being true.  So when they think of the lifestyle of a Muslim, devoted to God 24\7, ignoring human carnal desires and making every decision each day in the name of God...Well they think there is no way people here are going to choose this lifestyle over the "movie" option.  They are wrong. Those of us who are sick of the overexposed, over spoiled mentality of most people, are searching for more of a purpose in life and what better purpose to live for than God?


It was a blessing to be part of this documentary, all though it was really hard work, because of the message of strength it sends to the world.  I love being American, the strength I grew up with, and that makes me an even more determined Muslim. I am thankful for what I have, and thankful that becoming Muslim helped me appreciate life in a different way, and to realize what most Americans seem to be blind to...the greatest pleasure in life is not my own.

Did You Get the Message?

So I was watching this comedian online today, Chris Tucker. He was hilarious. He had like a whole section for religion, just raggin on different cultural silliness, which we all know is true and laugh about amongst ourselves. One subject he touched on, that really was like sad...hilarious...because sadly was true...was the fact that all of us were given some pretty important information a long long time ago, and some of us follow it...some don't...and some just don't get it or maybe they just choose not to understand.




So this is my topic.


"Why the _ _ _ _ are we all fighting over who was the "True" messenger of God...The Christians say it was Jesus...The Muslims say it was Muhammad...Who the _ _ _ _ cares who the messenger is...they got the same _ _ _ _ messages..."DID YOU GET THE MESSAGE?" -Chris Tucker, Comedian, Actor

When I heard this dude saying this...well the Muslim in me is like..."Hey don't use Jesus and Muhammad combined with curse words, in the same sentence"...Then, I focused on what this dude is saying. I totally agree with this. Why is everyone so focused on who is right, focused on who gets to say their religion is the one that will save you from hellfire.  Well here is some news for ya!  There is nothing here on this earth that will save you from anything except your faith and soul being devoted to God. I would say about 90% of us do not exactly live our lives devoted to God. We are devoted to NUMERO UNO. For those out there who don't get that...I mean, most ppl out there are devoted to the church of "themselves". I hate to break it to you, and you probably won't hear this from me first...but no one out there is off the hook.

What I mean by this is...
STOP FIGHTING ABOUT WHO THE TRUE MESSENGER IS,
DID YOU GET THE MESSAGE?
THEY ARE BOTH SPREADING THE SAME MESSAGE,
DID YOU GET THE MESSAGE?

Take like 5 seconds to ask yourself this question.  Think about it...cause if you did, Christian, Jew, Muslim...no one is off the hook. Now do you get it? NO one is right or wrong, we were all given the same message, what we choose to do with it is up to us from that point. It's like if you live in an apartment...and it's on fire...yeah that sucks right? So this dude knocks on your door and yells, "Get out man! There's a fire, your gonna get all burned up and stuff"...OK...well you got the message right? It's pretty universal I think...What are you going to do with this information?  Your going to RUN, because you believe it!

"Well let me ask you this?"
Say your sitting there, and you get the same knock on the door, a dude tells you "Hey sister! Get outta that apartment, there's a great religious group sharing the word of God downstairs!  OK, so the girl sits there for a while, she knows what the message was and how it will affect her life...but it's "JUST NOT THE RIGHT TIME IN HER LIFE"...I have heard that "LOAD" before.

OK, so right now she is in her prime right? Say, there is a party in her room, she is looking hot, wearing a shirt for a dress, life is perfect.  If she has to get outta that room, it's just gonna put a damper on her life right now, ...hey, she's young, she can start thinking about what that dude banging on the door said later...What she doesn't know is someone left the gas on the stove on after they finished with it, it ignites a nearby burning joint, the flames creep along so quickly, they are all too drunk to notice, ...they all see the smoke coming in, under the edge of the bedroom door. She runs up and grabs the knob, to open it, and it burns an impression into her hands...It's too late...She and her pretty friends, all having fun...were identified the next day by their beautiful pearly white teeth.

(If someone tells you that living your life in sin, and ignoring God's message can lead to hell, it's not really important right?  You don't really believe them, but in the back of your mind you kind of wonder, "Is that true?"  But if someone tells you, "There is a fire, you are going to burn if you don't leave the life of sin your participating in right now and get out of this building", are you going to stick around and just ponder in the back of your mind "Is that true?, Well I guess I will just wait till I get burned to find out" I bet the answer is that you hear the message and take it seriously...)

As the young girl walks up, to meet with her maker, she can't believe it's the end of her life. She never dreamed of what this would be like. Her eyes fill with tears...its' so beautiful.  She has nothing to compare this moment too...all she can do is kneel down in awe...She never really thought a lot about God, been years since she went to church, she never thought she would see the end so soon. She hears a melodic voice inside her head...it's so peaceful and beautiful...the voice asks her one question...her stomach knots as she hears this dreadful inquiry...

"YOU WERE ALL GIVEN THE SAME MESSAGE..."
"DID YOU NOT GET THE MESSAGE?"

I don't care what religion you follow, honestly I don't. My request is for the world to be "One Ummah (Faith)"...I just want people to think about what God has sent to us ALL...over and over and over again. However you choose to follow it...THE TEN COMMANDMENTS...THE HADITH OF THE PROPHET, SAS...THE TEACHINGS OF THE TORAH... God wants us all to live for Him,...To live our lives in moderation and modesty, To respect ourselves ...and to pass on THE MESSAGE...pass it to anyone...that dude who honked at you on the freeway this morning,...the quirky teenager behind the fast food counter...the scantily clad woman staring at your hijab...pass it on to everyone, no matter what their beliefs. This is what God wants...

Live for Him now!...not later, not when its most convenient...Which is usually when it's too late... 

Ask yourself right now..."DID I GET THE MESSAGE?"