To Wear…or Not to Wear?…That is the Question.

 
The following is an article from my dear friend Elif Kavakci.  I thought this was a great article to share during the blessed month of Ramadan.  You can check out more of Elif’s articles on her blog:
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I wanted to share with you a few thoughts...  First of all, we formed this blog so that it could provide a support system and a fun environment for hijabis and those who choose to dress modestly. 

Over the years, through my writing, I have been able to reach millions of readers.  Before I started writing for HijabiTopia, I was a fashion writer for ZAMAN - the Turkish daily news, and then transfered over to Kadinhaberleri.com, where now I have a weekly column.

Also being an Islamic Fashion designer, I've had many ladies contact me about changing the way they dress, and leading a more Islamic life style.

Writing has allowed me to get to know so many new faces, and beautiful ladies, some who wear hijab, some who are in search of how to wear hijab, and others who know exactly what to do but can't take the first steps.

It has been fun to share experiences and support each other through spiritual changes in our lives.
I will now share with you some of my thoughts on hijab. For those of you who may not personally know me, I am not an extremist Muslim, and could never be one. I like to follow the sunnah of our Prophet (peace be upon him) about having balance in my religion. So therefore when I tell you my thoughts on this topic, I don't want you to think that I am some fundamentalist. I'm just sharing my thoughts on the way I feel.
I feel very passionate about hijab.  Alot of Muslims will state that it is an option to wear hijab. I am not one of those Muslims. I believe it is Fard (obligatory), because it is clearly written in the Qur'an that believing women must dress Islamically.

When people say it is a choice, it makes my blood boil. There is no question! To wear or not to wear hijab is not an option. If you love Allah and want to please him, you wear it. If you don't wear it, that is a decision you make as a Muslim, not a choice.

Now having said that, you are probably thinking "she hates all non hijabis, she sounds so extreme". Absolutelly not. I have many friends, those who wear hijab and those who don't.  Those who are Muslim, and those who are not.  I love them all equally. Whether they wear hijab or not does not affect my friendship with them.  But my closest friends are always the ones whose lifestyles, goals, and dreams are closer to mine.  I am encircled by those friends.


I'm not going to tell you that wearing hijab is easy! Untill it becomes a complete part of you, it's difficult to carry. Yes, we get hot! Yes, it gets itchy. Yes we would love to just tie our hair in a pony tail, throw on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and flip flops and walk out the door. But do we, NO! And why don't we? To please Allah!
This Ramadan, I would like for you to think about that. If you haven't started wearing hijab, just imagine yourself in hijab. Imagine how happy it would make you feel to submit to an obligatory rule from the Qur'an.
Ramadan uplifts our spirits. It's the same kind of feeling when you wear hijab, except it's on a daily basis. Imagine what you would feel like in the beauty of hijab. When you close your eyes, try to get beyond your image, and how other people might react to it,  try to think of Allah, and try to think of all of us who are right there with you. Just like when you fast. You do the act  yourself, but millions of Muslims are doing it as well.
I could go on and on about this topic. We will have many discussions, and I would love to hear your comments, and your stories, whether you wear hijab or not. We love to have you as readers. Anybody and everybody is welcome.


Elif Kavakci for HijabiTopia

America the Beautiful

  Here in America, we are very privileged to live with so much freedom, wealth, and endless resources.  We are a nation that moves faster, works harder, and demands perfection right now.  These are the things we instill in our people. Be faster, smarter, better...right now. So we raise our children for this grande society. They are prepped for our demanding lifestyle...but no matter how much prepping you do, it will never be enough.

Women in today's society are not pretty enough, not smart enough, not talented enough.  We are not thin enough, not natural enough, and not plastic enough. 












 Everything about us needs to be replaced, smoothed over, tucked under.  You need to study more, love less, and sacrifice your soul to our society or you will never be "good" enough.  Sad...

What is "beautiful" any more?  Beauty has a new meaning now. You can purchase it, sell it, and recreate it.  Beauty is meaningless, worthless and yet everything.  What is the first thing we look at in a person?  We look for beauty, whether it be in their appearance or if you don't see them, then do they have a beautiful voice?  It's ok if you are not very beautiful on the outside, but if you have a beautiful voice, well that will make up for it. If you have a combination of both...well then you are a celebrity...Beauty will give you everything you want in this world, but will take it all away from you.  It's the ultimate indulgence for our society, this is what "beauty" has become.

I used to also be a slave to beauty...as most girls my age are.  Hell, it starts younger and younger as generations develop.  What will we become soon?  The far reaches we will go to obtain perfection grow further and further, until soon we will disappear as humans all together.  We will discard clothing all together, because if we analyze how much we have removed in the past 100 years, then it's a very short time before clothing is all together, "out".   

Lets take a look at how much beauty has changed over the years...and how much our self-dignity and respect as become as small as the clothing we wear today.   

  There was once a time, when women didn't leave their homes without covering their bodies and their beauty, such as their long hair, was never displayed for strangers to gawk at. They were truly respectful to themselves, and at this time in society, they had very little to be respected about, besides their virtuosity...They hoped to one day earn their place and their rights as equal to men, if they could only see what we have done with those rights...

A decade later, we see a beautiful Bride.  Brides used to show very little on their wedding day, saving their beauty for their soon to be husbands eyes...Well now we cover very little.

  

Style continued to evolve in the 50's, 60's 70's...I say evolve, but it was more like evaporate...

Skirts get shorter...

as we become more free, we become more of a slave to our new role as Women...

Show me everything you have and then I will decide if I love you...
This is the natural "rule" of things now, if your looking for love.  First you have to "hook em" and then you reel them in...what do we use as bait?  Oh just our flesh...nothing important.  Since when, do we consider our bodies and our self-respect unimportant?  When did we become just pieces of meat and why hasn't anyone noticed?  Are we so used to this way of life that it's just normal now?  Since I became a Muslim, and living my life in dignity, it feels like I woke up from this nightmare where women on a daily basis just walk around half-naked, clueless, and snarling as they lash out to lunge at the next mindless Man who looks like he has a couple of bucks.  

WOW...it has become normal now...so normal that the type of clothing that used to be worn by "loose women" is now the normal attire a Mother wears out to do some shopping...WOW...that little girl looks pretty mortified...




This new found "self-expression" is happily passed on to our daughters at a very early age.  Little girls learn to judge each other based on appearance very quickly and sadly they are very talented at bringing on this kind of pain.  Forget about Barbie dolls...now at age 5, daughters across the US are more interested in the latest "teen sensation".  When I was 5, I didn't even know what a teen was.  




Innocence is something society urges out of their children all too quickly.  Hurry and grow up, be independent so that I don't have to pay as much attention to you, and I can pay more attention to myself. 




Children are thrown into dance classes to teach them to move their bodies in "desirable" ways, ...but awwwe, it's so cute...They are shoved in front of our satellite TV's, so they can watch "Toddlers & Tiara's" and beg their own Mommies to ruin them like those little girls Mommies do. "Gee officer, I don't understand why a pedophile would go after my daughter?"  

Go play "play station", instead of go play outside. Go play on the internet, instead of play with "real" friends.  Why is there a huge spike in Autism? Hmmm...I don't know?  For your 6th birthday lets have a party where you dress up like a street-walker and ride around in a pink limousine so you can pretend your shallow and famous, while scantily clad...like your favorite pop star.


Happy Birthday Mommies little "Lolita"...


So what do we do about this?  All I can say is look around you, look in front of you, look behind you. What do you see? Are you a part of what is described above? Are you a contributor to this type of existence?  If you are, it's OK. You can stop anytime...just find something better to live for. Like maybe God? 


 Developing a better relationship with God leads to looking at life through a different pair of eyes.  Learn how to feel shame in displaying yourself, like your something for sell.  Remember what it used to be like when a Man stepped out of a Woman's path, tipped his hat to her and greeted her formally?  Of course you don't remember, it's been too long! Now the greeting you will get today is based on who you present yourself. Either you will get "Damn Girl!", or "Whats up sexy?"...or if your lucky he will just eye-ball you up and down as you walk by and not voice  his thoughts out loud.  Why can't we have a modern society where Men treat you the respectful way again? The reason you do not have this anymore is because of how many Women have "given it up".  Women who don't have God in their lives, seem to only live for the "worldly things". They don't have much value for themselves and treat others accordingly.  We have to get back our sense of CLASS.  Value yourselves, know that you are worth more!  You don't need someone to tell you this, or to make you feel this...God thinks your worth more. This is why God told Women to have shame for their bodies. Guard themselves, keep themselves pure and chaste until they marry.  
God thinks your worth it, not Loreal.  God commanded Men to lower their lustful gazes...He knows how they look at His beautiful Women.  If that Man doesn't think your beautiful, guess what! God does! He thinks your so beautiful that it's dangerous. He warned us all, that beauty is dangerous to society and wow, it looks like He was right again! Women...you can do this! You can realize your true nature is that of epic royalty and that of a diamond buried in the rock.  Work on it! Make that rock harder to break, in order to get to the diamond inside.  Do it for the Women before our time, who sacrificed so much for the rights we toss out the window today.  Do it for your Grandmother who never thought you had enough clothing on. Not to mention, do it for your daughters, give them the most beautiful gift of all, VALUE.  





Sure it doesn't happen immediately, but one day you can "wake up" too. I did...